Sigma Team Strikes!

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Thu Dec 01, 2005 4:25 pm

Pre-New Year's attack by Black Vanguard sends Sigma Team Alertometer from Orange to Red

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Thu Dec 01, 2005 5:24 pm

Damn it all!!!

McNevin · Post by **McNevin** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 11:02 am

Squirrels kill dog
A pack of squirrels at a park in the Lazo village of Russia's Maritime Territory reportedly ganged up on a stray dog that was barking up at them in the trees. Witnesses say the squirrels jumped down, attacked the dog, and killed it. From the BBC News:

"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

"When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."

Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.

While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests, he said, the idea of them chewing at a dog to death was "absurd".

"If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he added.

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Sat Dec 03, 2005 7:01 pm

Sigma grows stronger...

Post by **enderzero** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 6:44 am

"The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he added.

This is most troubling...

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:33 am

Just like North Korea...

sorry...
I shouldn't joke about Sigma Team...

There may be a correlation between these new attacks and the recent increase in Sigma Team posts on Teh Monkeylair, like that SigmaFeather guy...

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:55 am

And that Dr. Thorndyke!!

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:00 am

What's that Ginge? Bill Thorndyke a sexy criminal?

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:32 am

That man you sent me to... He behaved very strangely...

He dropped a raw egg into my mouth... Then do you know what he did? He took a wet slab of greeeeaaasy bacon, and wrapped it 'round my head!!

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 3:35 pm

Are you quite sure this was an egg?

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:15 pm

SpidMonk: Will there be another monkey donkey Christmas vid this year?

Post by **enderzero** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:22 am

oh yes, good question! - inquiring minds wait impatiently for a follow up.

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:15 pm

Unfortunately probably not... One third of the 3 people who made MonkeyDonkey left the company.... There may however eventually appear some Monkeydonkey from the outside. Not necessarily Christmas oriented...
updates as they become available...
in the meantime
watch this over and over. It may become funny.
http://www.hyphen9.com/show/TallManandtheMonkeymp4.mov

Post by **enderzero** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 2:10 am

But is the Tall Man really a bag full of Sigmaniacs and the Monkey is giving them a good 1-2?

Post by **enderzero** » Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:01 pm

This is rather troubling...

I found this only a mile or two from my house.

This confirms what I have always suspected. Hesh works for Sigma Team!!

Even if he says he has a pump. DO NOT under any circumstances, pumpy it.

And check out the new Sigma Team EuroLogo. Rather regal.

McNevin · Post by **McNevin** » Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:34 pm

Sigma got a pump! Pumpy!

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:12 am

One of their tires may be kinda' flat. We should strike now!

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:54 pm

ammana... watch tv...

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:54 am

I've figured it out. Charlton Heston is Sigma Team's leader. It's his hatred for damned dirty apes that tipped me off.

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:16 am

He may be supplying them with very small rifles.

Post by **enderzero** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 12:52 pm

By damnit I think you are right...

He was spurned...

...and turned. Turned to the Sigma dark side. Oh the sick fuck!

ClownA$$ · Post by **ClownA$$** » Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:54 pm

This can't be allowed

http://www.squirrelman7.com/

ClownA$$ · Post by **ClownA$$** » Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:02 pm

Even more

Frozen Squirrels and Flying Kebabs Behind Strangest Motor Claims

1. "A frozen squirrel fell out of a tree and crashed through the windscreen on to the passenger seat"

Beeeph · Post by **Beeeph** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:21 am

there's been an incident...

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.ht ... _page_id=2

Post by **enderzero** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:54 am

Good Jesus!! That is horrific!

Just when the squirrel menace looked like it might have faded away,

They are always out there, plotting their next attack..... NOOOOOOO!!

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 8:53 am

deploy; rinse; repeat

Post by **enderzero** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 9:52 am

That is fantasmic! Dizzy the shit out of em!! They'll be so disoriented they'll never be able to organize a coordinated attack.

But I am severely confused. This seems to be a device created by equally evil birds to guard their stash. Why is one side of Sigma team competing with the other? Is there infighting in the ranks? Could this spell a complete breakdown of the evil Sigma Team as we know it??

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:18 pm

Another Sigma team attack narrowly averted..

A few weeks ago, 14 squirrels equipped with espionage systems of foreign intelligence services were captured by [Iranian] intelligence forces along the country's borders. These trained squirrels, each of which weighed just over 700 grams, were released on the borders of the country for intelligence and espionage purposes. According to the announcement made by Iranian intelligence officials, alert police officials caught these squirrels before they could carry out any task.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 453_3.html

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:52 pm

teh Forum

teh Forum

Sigma Team Strikes!

Sigma Team Strikes!