ok very drunken...
T'was teh birthday of teh l2icks0r and all through the townehouse
not a l2icks0r! was sleeping - well maybe his spouse...
All the beers were drunken by teh l2icks0r! with care
In hopes that the delerium tremens would NOT soon be there
The l2icks0r! was soon nestled all passed out in his bed
While visions of pornography ruminated in his head
With melatonin in his system, and a 5-HTP nightcap
had just put the l2icks0r! down for a long nights collapse
When out on the street there arose such a clatter
But he just shifted in his bed and decided it didn't matter
Away to dreamland he returned still smashed
Tore up like a l2icks0r! should be and so he stayed crashed
The moon up above the new fallen rain
gave to teh l2icks0r! a signal of extreme disdain
when what to his wondering eyes should appear
but a fucked up crack ho on 3 grams of cocaine
With barely any sense, and an insane aura
He knew in a moment it must be Laura
More quickly than beagles, his memories they came
while he writhed and screamed that fucking bitches name
Ok...this is getting ridiculous...blame it on the beer I say...I've been drinking beer all fricken day...
Whoa...I don't know if I can stop rhyming...it's all about syllabalic timing
Ok...I'm done for good...just like you knew I would...
Ack...I can't stop! Would you beleive I dealt drugs to a cop?
Ah fuck this shit...I'm getting drunker and drunker as I sit.
I think my liver is about to have a cirrhosic fit
god damn me to hell I'm fucking lit
l2icks0r! + alcohol and this is what you git (get)
OK!!!! enough is enough! stopping the rhyming is fucking tough!
Ok done...see - no ryhme...at least not this time...like I said:
enough is enough
Whew...Ok....now I am a normal human being - yes that is now the type that you are seeing - words from a non-ryhming human being.
Wait...shit...I did it again...the ryhming is not going away...but I guess that is ok...wouldn't you say? ok this is getting fucking gay.
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OK - it's over!!!! yes it's over!!!!!!!!
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Damn that was ridiculous....I'm quite drunk I must say...sitll fighting with not using words that are rhyming. Beagles. Yes, beagles...they are faster than eagles.....wait...rhyming again! NEOOOoooooOoooO!!!!!
Ok! So...How are you? I am fine thank you! and 34 years old...a fricken geeeeeeeeez0r if you will...yeah...dats mee....
Ok so like it's been a while since postang on dis here forum...wow...is hard to focus on the screen right now...and me back is killing me...
Yeah....so I finally ended up pushing my body too far and hurt my back pretty seriously time where I was fucked up for about a months time...it was great....so much for fucking dead lifting 600lbs at ye old national competition...oh well...big deal...life is this way so have to just accept it.
Ye olde bench press capability went up quite a bit though... Am now at 355lbs...next week should put me around 365lbs...But as luck may have it that may not occur because I seem to have hurt my right shoulder a little bit...fuck - getting old is teh sux0r...all these fricken ouches are not fun....I'll get through this shizza though damnit...
Got some good ole fashioned fats0r going on too...weighing in at 205lbs...eeek...got the nice beer gut too...it's great...Dieting starts Monday...would like to get down to a nice lean 190lbs...in the next month....
Oh so went to a strong man competiton today at the Redhook Brewery that a couple of my friends entered into...My friend Jake ended up winning a very impressive event where you have to pull a 32,000lb truck...he got the fastest time out of every single man there - by 6 seconds...quite impressive for a 20 year old going up against some serious veterans... There was also an arm wrestling team there and the main guy was one of the best arm wrestlers in the nation...so of course I just had to arm wrestle this 200lb guy...but I lost...pretty quickly...surprise surprise...oh well.. so then I say ok let me wrestle the 2nd strongest guy on the team! And ... well... I lost again... and this guy was 25lbs lighter than me...Afterwards I talk to the champion guy and he says, "you've got some serious power - you just need to work on your technique" and offers to train me...I laugh it off a bit but he was serious...So I entertain his gesture but then I hear the call of the beer and go drink some more.
Later, after being quite inebreated I seem to be a little annoyed that I couldn't defeat one of these wussy champion caliber competitive arm wrestler guys so I decide ONE MORE TRY! This time I go up against the 5th strongest man(185lbs)on the team (out of 6) and I WON in front of about 200+ spectators or so which included a bunch of my stupid meat head gym friends cheering me on. The guy I beat did not feel so good afterwards...I told them afterwards I was actually a rather reasonably successful powerlifter bitch head meat neck that held a state record so he didn't feel so bad afterwards but still these guys train to be the best arm wrestlers they can be and I am just some "guy off the street" if you will that just walked up and defeated one of them...heheh....HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! MONKEY POWAR!!!!!
Ok...so what the hell else...finally "got the girl" as it were...so to speak...what the hell does "as it were" even mean...whatever...ok so yeah...she's quite ridiculous - she ate up all my candy AND my licorice. Go Digital Underground...w00t!...yeah...Can't really figure out what the hell she sees in me but she thinks I'm "amazing" and all the while I think she is amazing...and s000par teh athletic...and cute...and smart....and educated...and rational...and everything else I want from a fricken girl...so good for me...go me...go me...yeah...whatever....she'll probably leave me in a year or so...but it'll be a fun time until then!!!! w00t!^3
HolyShat I'm drunken...w00t!
Ok...so like work isn't going well at all...I am too fucked up in the brain - teh brain is teh brokan when it comes to teh work...I had two fricken months to complete this current fricken project...in the last 8 weeks I've competed 0.05% because I am unfathomably lazy and recently I've finished 60% of it in two days time with the help of the Sethro...two months of work in about 12 hours? ridiculous...still have a fricken shiteload of shite to fricken finish and 1 fricken day to do it in...and Im fricken drunken to teh fricken gills "as it were" hahaha...whatever...I just can't seem to care about anything anymore...I just don't care...something is wrong with me...I wish I cared...but I don't....maybe I need to lose it all? Maybe I need to hit rock bottom? Maybe I am "done." I don't know...If I died now I would be happy...I've had a good 34 years...If it all had to end now it would be totally fine with me...maybe I should look into heroin? Life was great up until this point but now it just seems like I'm just "hangin out" you know? Maybe if I had not had an extremely succesful career I would feel like "I haven't done anything with my life" but that is not the case and its really hard to see the characters on the screen now...after 14 beers and teh whield turkay!!!!
I came up with a new challenge...remember the 1 gallon milk challenge? Well I think I would win that if we ever actually did it because I drink 5 gallons of milk a week. So I came up with the 5 gallon challenge. You drink 5 gallons of pseudo beer...that is beer that is 0.5% alcohol by volume...thats 640oz of beer...so if you think about it - your average microbrew is about 5% alcohol....so if you drank 10 pseudo beers( odouls, sharps) that would equal 1 regular beer. So if you drink 100 pseudo beers that's like 10 regular beers... but 100 pseudo beers is 1200oz...thats almost 10 gallons...cut that in half and you gots 600oz which is just under 5 gallons...so fuck it ...ad a 40oz and make it an even 5galllons....so yeah...buy 50 Oduls or something...what is that...like $4 a 6 pack? so that's really only 9 six packs at $4 a six pack so it's $36 for 5 gallons...not too bad...anyway...this summer...teh 5 gallon challenge!!!!!
ok...drizzunkar dan de skizzunkar....bleah...g'night...sleep mutha-fricken-muth-fucking-tight and keep those fricken bed fricken bugs out of yo muthafricken sizzzzight....
l2icks0r! returns...albeit slightly drunken...
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N3ur0n0saurusl2exs0r!!!
- Hitching Post
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