Teh l2icks0r! is back...(could this be a rant? i dunno)

[Bill Drayton Jr.]

and drunk off of 6 Redhook IPAs and a shot of single malt scotch for which I cannot fucking remember what the fucking brand of that shite was ... I don't like scotch but it was the only hard alcohol available at 11am...today...actually yesterday for it is 3:45 am as I write this shite...

Who teh fuck cares though for I have but a 80% full bottle of my most favorite of high alcohol content beers left to consume! Yes...a singleRedhook IPA...I beleive I informed you all of that beer being the highest Redhook has to offer in terms of alcohol content...so drink the fuck up! Man the fuck up you wussy little bastards!!!!

Ever heard the phrase "Man up!" yeah... that's what you should do when it comes the fuck down to it you know?

Anyway... It's a bit hard to focus... I've had 96 ounces of Redhook IPA + 25 ounces of Pyramed Hefe(great fucking HEFE!!!) and a fucking shot of 101 WHYELD TURKAY!!!! LOEVES TEH TURKAY~!!!!!! LOEVESSSS!!!!! And as I typed ealiertereirilaielrierierr a shot of fcuknig SCOTCH! AT 11am no less... Thats 7 ounces shy of a fucking gallon of fuckin beer!!!! MAN THE FUCK UP!!! yeah... see now you understuand....

Anywyay speeaking of manning the fuck up ... I ahve to admit even with my respectable beer drinking capabitlites ENDARZEEEEEEEEEEEERho can out drink me the fucking fuck! I've had to pass out a couple times on occasion due to this fucking drunkard bastard-o!!!! fuck him! whatever ok...yeah...so together we could easily consume 256 ounces(2gallons) of beer... actually probably more than that because I would not need to violently and involuntarily expectorate fluid from the mouth until hitting about 9 beers+...

So my friend Jamie went to fucking Glasgow for a fucking wedding that lasted a couple of fucking days... then he got the fuck out of there and headed off to France where the fucking govt. donated some land to the fucking BMXers over there so they could fucking build jumps to thier fucking maximum satisfaction which means fucking crazy ass motherfawking jumps whereby one could get 20-30 vertical fucking feet from the mawtharfawking lip... FAWK!!!! and of course if one were to do that, as many did so Jamie said, one would of course be compelled to lands smooth... and if that didn't happen and some surgery was in need from a bad crash the socialized medicine would pay for it all...what the mawthar fawk... over here we are fucking so FUCKING scared of even having the POSSIFUCKINBILITY of getting sued by some stupid wussy fuck that shit gets into motion(dirt jumps plowed by city) before anyone has a chance to react.... fuck some fucking bitch sued McDonals for spilling coffee on her fucking self!"!?!?!?!?!? What the fuck!!!! Why do we let this shit happen? Somone should have fucking just slapped that old fucking bitch in the fucking mouth!!! but no... shet gets a couple million for her pain and mawtharfucking suffering or whatever the fawk... (actualy I don't think she did but let's pretend - it makes this story more effective) bullfucking shit!!!!!! There needs to be some fucking limitations on how much you can fucking sue someone for something...I mean this is fucking ridiculous...FUCKING PUSSSY LITTEL FUKS!!!!


Political correctness is going to be the fuckingdownfall of fucking productijvtity I tell you! I was "talked to" on numerous occasions at my stupid fucking old explotational bullshit job at GPG because I was too "terse" or too "succinct" or got "to the point to quickly" with some of the replys or requests I sent out via email... FUCKing sensitive fucking pussy littele fucking bitches!!!! WHAT THE FAWK!!!!! Jesus fucking Christ you sensitive little fucks! God fucking damnit!!!!! I don't give a fuck if you think I am getting to the mawtharfucking point too fucking quickly - I ask you a simple fucking question and you take offense to my fucking email because it was only one sentence and not a "Hi! how the fuck is it going? How the fuck was your weekend? How the fuck are your fucking wife/kids or girlfiend/family?" kind of fucking bullshit followed by a lightheared mawtharfawking joke afterwhich I very gently get to the real point of why the fuck I am emailing you in the first fucking place... Jesus fucking Chirst - that shit made me pretty sick back then but now I can't fucking beleive I even considedered sympathizing... GOD FUCKING DAMN FUCKING SENSITVIE LITTLE FUCKS!!!!! I would like to slap them now. Anyway...what the fawk...ok so not all the people I used to work wtih where like that just 99% of them all...insecure little pussy bastards!.... ok.. enough.. you ge teh fuckiing point....whichi is that the average fucking guys is a fuckng pussy.... ok maybe that is being tooo harsh...except its not...

According to Men's Health (May 2004) the "average guy" was:

in the best shape of his life at 23

the average sedentary guy loses 1 lb of muscle per year


has 13" biceps

can do 27 push ups

can bench press 93% of his body weight

has a 41" chest

has 20.4" thighs

has a grip strength of 110 lbs

stands 5' 9.1" tall

has a body fat of 19.7%

wants to drop 23.4lbs

can run 1.5 miles in 12.5 minutes


WHAT TEH FUCK!?!?!?!? NO fucking wonder fucking peopele are so fucking sensitive !!!!! I was a sedentary fuck... and actually possessed decent physical cabilites but now?

teh average l2icks0r:

is in the best shape of his life at 32

gains 4 lbs of muscle per year

has 14.5" biceps

can do 80 push ups

can bench press 175% of his body weight

has a 42" chest

has 21" thighs

has a grip strength of more than 110 lbs

stands 5' 11" tall

has a body fat of 11.5%

wants to drop 10lbs

can run 1.5 miles in 11.25 minutes


AND

can do 30 pull ups at body weight of 178lbs

or

10 pull ups at 258lbs (178lbs + 80lbs of added weight)



WHAT TEH FAWK!~?!?>!?!??!/ I'm not that impressive of a physical specimen but some guys can't do a fucking single pull-up...I don't fucking get it.... I did 35 pull ups when I was in high school in the 12th grade and recently did 30 ... which is 14 years later...

So if people are willing to let their physical stature diminish that much then why not let emotional stature diminish as well!?!?!? Why not take offense to even the most remotely un-PC statement? Why the fuck not!??!?! maybe you coudl fuckign sue the fucking person that you took offense to!??! Why not?!??!?! There are not limits here in the US! So fuckin sue the fucks!?!?!?! get millions!!! Who cares if you fucking ruin it for the rest of the fucking coutnry!!!!!


FUcking pussies...the lot of you...

[spidermonkey]

Well done! That was a classic 12icks0r rant.
I found it informative and witty.

[R3C]

That's what I say PPPPFFFFFFFTTTT!!!! Let's just drink our livers right out of our bodies while we're at it. Muscle doesn't do you much good if your body can't expel toxins, at which point one rapidly.... well... DIES.... PFFT... Oh well.

For such a fine physical specimen, one surely can be tipped and tossed easily. One should enhance the balance abilities to match the strength. [TEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEE] Wiggity Wick Cachoooo!!!!!!

<---Rixler after swelling and bursting all the capilaries in his face

[Bill Drayton Jr.]

the more healthy you are the more you can drink!

As far as the tipping, tossing, and balance goes you should probably try again! I really only gauge balance ability on my bike and the other day I was amazed at how well I could manual. I've developed a lot more bike control recently and the only reason for it being like that, since I haven't hit a jump since I wrecked last year, is from being stronger...