I now have Commando.

OFF TOPIC FORUM - Full support for tomfoolery, zaniness, and other forms of monkery. One line posts and ambiguous titles are welcome. Get your Haw Flakes in here.
Post Reply
User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

I now have Commando.

Post by Megatron »

I can't express how much I enjoy this movie. Best one-liners ever!



[Guy taking out Trash]
"Hey guys, wait up! I was afraid you'd miss me"

[Cook]
"Don't worry, we won't"

*Uzi fire*

________________________________________________________

[Cook]
Ya scared muthafucka? You should be, cuz this green beret is gonna kick your big ass.
[Matrix]
I eat green berets for breakfast, and right now I'm VERY hungry!
[Cindy]
I can't believe this macho bullshit!
[Cook]
Fuck you ass hole!
[Matrix]
Fuck YOU ass hole!
[Cindy]
These guys eat too much red meat!

User avatar
Beeeph
Hitching Post
Posts: 684
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2003 10:02 pm
Location: BALLS COCK SHIT

Post by Beeeph »

[Matrix]
Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired.

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

[Bennet]
I'm not going to shoot you between the eyes! I'm going to shoot you between the bawls!
[Matrix]
Blow off some steam, Bennet

User avatar
Beeeph
Hitching Post
Posts: 684
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2003 10:02 pm
Location: BALLS COCK SHIT

Post by Beeeph »

After dropping a guy off a cliff
[Girl]
What happened to him?
[Matrix}
I had to let him go

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

Bennet is walking down hallway inside compound where Jenny is being held when he is stopped by a piss-ant soldier...

[Piss-Ant Soldier]
Slitting a little girl's throat is like cutting warm butter...

[Bennet}
Put away the knife, and shut your mouth.

Bennet walks toward Arius with a smirk...

[Bennet]
I love listening to your little piss-ant soldiers trying to talk tough. They make me laugh, if Matrix were here, he'd laugh too.

[Arius}
Mr. Bennet my soldiers are patriots.

Bennet interupts Arius...

[Bennet]
Your soldiers are NOTHING! Matrix and I could kill every last one of them...[Bennet snaps his fingers in front of his face] in the blink of an eye. Remember that.

User avatar
Beeeph
Hitching Post
Posts: 684
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2003 10:02 pm
Location: BALLS COCK SHIT

Post by Beeeph »

Matrix is walking down to the beach and the army pulls up...

[Army General]
Did you leave anything for us?

[Matrix]
Just bodies!

User avatar
spidermonkey
Sign Post
Posts: 1484
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2003 7:47 pm
Location: Spidermonkey's Lair

Post by spidermonkey »

If you just call General Franklyn Kirby!!!!!

User avatar
Beeeph
Hitching Post
Posts: 684
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2003 10:02 pm
Location: BALLS COCK SHIT

Post by Beeeph »

BWAH!

[Black Mall Security Guard]
Attention all units, emergency on theater level, suspect six foot two, brown hair...
he is one gigantic motherfucker! <--- to be said in the white mans voice.

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

Cook is sitting inside a brand new Cadillac at the dealership while the salesman throws him a pitch...

[Salesman]
Go ahead! Start it up! Listen to that...thats POWER, thats PERFORMANCE!

[Cook]
You know what I like best?

[Salesman]
Whats that?

[Cook]
The price.

Cook throws the car into reverse and drives the Cadillac through front of dealership's showroom window, running over salesman leaving him bloody in the street.

User avatar
Beeeph
Hitching Post
Posts: 684
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2003 10:02 pm
Location: BALLS COCK SHIT

Post by Beeeph »

[Bad Guy holding paper heart that reads "I Love you Daddy"]
If You Want Your Daughter Your Going To Have To Cooperate, RIGHT?

[Matrix]
WRONG!

!BLAST!

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

General Franklin Kirby and his army unit are inpecting the perimeter of Matrix's house when they find Jackson and Harris' bodies...

[General Franklin Kirby]
Any sign of Matrix?

[Army Guy]
No Sir. Just those bodies...ya think there's any more Sir??

[General Franklin Kirby]
If he's still alive I'd expect a lot more!

User avatar
Beeeph
Hitching Post
Posts: 684
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2003 10:02 pm
Location: BALLS COCK SHIT

Post by Beeeph »

[Little boy]
"Maybe it's a tumor"

[Matrix]
"Iz notta tumah"

!BLAST! Matrix delivers the little boy a shot gun blast to the face

User avatar
R3C
Star Post
Posts: 6220
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2003 4:59 pm
Location: Boot Sector

Post by R3C »

:D I wish I had gotten in on this thread when there were still some good lines left. :D

Well, when someone gets Running Man, I'll chime in.

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

This guys website is classic...read the second page especially where he goes into the "Bennet Factor"
http://twistededge.org/death_by_cinema/Commando/

Image
Image Image Image
Image

User avatar
Bill Drayton Jr.
Post Apocalyptic
Posts: 2171
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2003 2:48 pm
Location: teh w00ds

Post by Bill Drayton Jr. »

Here's a less known one liner from Arnie that's pretty funny :grin:
I am like getting the feeling of cumming in the gym, I'm getting the feeling of cumming at home, I'm getting the feeling of cumming backstage when I pump up when I pose out in front of 5000 people I get the same feeling, so I am cumming day and night.

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

Good ol' Arnold, loves to get his rocks off it would seem.

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »


User avatar
Bill Drayton Jr.
Post Apocalyptic
Posts: 2171
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2003 2:48 pm
Location: teh w00ds

Post by Bill Drayton Jr. »

w00t

twistededge
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2006 2:40 am

Post by twistededge »

Commando is and will always remain to be the biggest cheese-fest in the history of cinema. It's sheer crappiness knows no bounds. And yes, you should all check out the best Commando review on the internet, as suggested by Agent Bos.

That link again:
http://twistededge.org/death_by_cinema/Commando/
There are those who have not yet witnessed the glory of http://www.twistededge.co.uk. Those people suck.

User avatar
R3C
Star Post
Posts: 6220
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2003 4:59 pm
Location: Boot Sector

Post by R3C »

You wouldn't be saying that if General Franklin Kirby was here. Just call General Franklin Kirby!!!!




... he'll sort it all out...

twistededge
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2006 2:40 am

Post by twistededge »

"Silent and smooth as always!"

That's Kirby for you. I really would've loved to seen a Commando 2. Fuck Rambo 4, BRING BACK MATRIX!
There are those who have not yet witnessed the glory of http://www.twistededge.co.uk. Those people suck.

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

Thats awesome, TwistedEdge!

I love the website, so did you see that I had referenced your website and thats how you found Enderzero's forums?

twistededge
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2006 2:40 am

Post by twistededge »

Yep. I can see all referring pages to my site, including search engines and such. Someone used Google to find Commando, and found this site. I followed the trail and ended up here.

It's good to see people enjoying my work. I get lots of hits, but little email traffic. Once I saw someone enjoying my Commando review enough to actually provide samples here, i joined at once.

I still consider mine to be THE definitive review. Anyone fancy Blinging Bennet like in the article?

Image
There are those who have not yet witnessed the glory of http://www.twistededge.co.uk. Those people suck.

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

I see, notice the nice plug I gave your website in the original post after I found your site through Google. :) And I whole heartedly agree that your Commando review is without a doubt THE definitive Commando review.

I'll definately be picking up some chainmail in the near future.

User avatar
ed9k
Posts: 334
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:15 am
Location: bot hell

Post by ed9k »

Don't count on it. Mr. Lafitty up there doesn't pick up his God-damned voicemails.

User avatar
Megatron
Hitching Post
Posts: 717
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:56 am

Post by Megatron »

:eek:

User avatar
ed9k
Posts: 334
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:15 am
Location: bot hell

Post by ed9k »

RLY

Post Reply