teh standard, teh drunken, teh drunken standard!

N3ur0n0saurusl2exs0r!!! · Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:12 am

hell0...hi-h0...hi-h0...getting more drunken and s0...on

hmmm...that really doesn't rizzzyme ya nizz0h? ok

I'm starting to think that there should be a 1 gallon challenge with beer...er wait...didn't I think that there should be a 100 bottles of non-alcoholic beer challenge too? Whatever...either way I think they would both be good ways to express ones self with violent involuntary expectorative fluidity....

so yeah...keep that in mind...I think I could drink a gallon of beer pretty easily....that would be 7 pints...and I also think that it should be done in less than an hour as well...yeah...that would be good....someone should do that...I think if there were still monkeys in the Bellevue monkey house such a thing would be tried...but alas that is not the situation any longer....alas I say!

Uhg...nothing new to report really...been experimenting with performance enhancing drugs(no not steroids - nootropics! if I were taking sterioids I would be huge! hehe) as of late...nothing new to report there either - they don't really seem to be working as well as I would have liked them to...anyone try ye olde new fangled racetam variations such as piracetam, aniracetam, or oxirecetam? What about some good ole idebenone or pyritinol? Maybe should throw some huberzine A in the mix for good measure eh? Or howzabout some vinpocetine? Centrophenoxine? Procaine?

blah blah...Adderoll? Ritalin? yaya anyone gotz any experience with dat stuff?

ok bed would be nice...

N3ur0n0saurusl2exs0r!!! · Sat Aug 27, 2005 1:49 am

bed was nice...oh and look...drunk again...ridiculous...I'm pacing myself these days though...decreasing the alcohol concentration level by drinking Mexican beers these days - most notably Sol...it is a rather good beer...It is like Corona but without the stinky skanky skunky nasty skinkification...and it is the cheaps0r...Although I have been drinking a bit of Stella Artois which is nearly $9 a six pax0r...very good though...

Ah ok so a tomorrow is a going to a be a long a day-o...where upon the morn I shall hopefully witness a world record set by my attorney in the bench press for 181lb men. I really hope he does it this time...It's the most bizzare thing - he has done 30lbs more than the world record three weeks ago but he hasn't been right in the head lately and has dropped by 30lbs each week the last two weeks so now his bench is down 60lbs...I don't get it...my confidence level for him is at 40/60 now and I think that is optimistic...he is currently ranked 7 in the world in the WABDL organization.

Then it's off to Whidbey island for my step-sister Corin's wedding which should be quite fun. I did have a problem though in the clothing department...it appears that I can no longer fit any of my button down shirts...ye olde neck of teh l2icks0r! has increased by over two inches and my chest by six...my suits don't fit anymore...it is teh sux0r...

One thing I should mention though is that there is a "mystery shirt" in my wardrobe. It is a very cool Italian shirt of irridescent burgundy. I don't ever remember buying this and I think it may belong to Kevlar and it got to me because Endar probably borrowed it for the Cali wedding he went to where he borrowed one of my suits. I cannot wear the thing which sucks because it is a very cool Pronto Oumo. I suppose I could mail it out along with a copy of DS2 or something if it belongs to the admiral.

What else...oh yeah! My back is back! I have no explanation for this. I appear to be more than fully healed from an 11 week recovery period. It was teh sux0r...being hurt all the time severley puts a damper on ones outlook of life. I actually had two nearly debilitating "injuries." The first was the cummulative effect of dead lifting 1/4 ton for reps and the second just happened bending over to pick up a tent stake. I was very close to quitting and giving it all up but for some stupid reason I kept putting myself through the pain week after week and it got worse at first but then slowly got better and then instantly got better. I had difficulty getting out of bed, getting in/out of my car, walking, and just general discomfort doing basically anything especially after I would stiffen up from being in one position for so long. I'm not sure what to think of what has happened because it so goes against common sense. Normally when a person does something and it hurts them they stop. I kept at it and hurt myself even more. Then, I kept doing it but with lower weight and I was still hurting myself. Looking back now at it this sounds totally stupid and/or crazy but the end result is my body adapted to it while being hurt. My tolerance for pain increased. I grew accustomed to the pain and was more comfortable with the discomfort. It's like it was nothing new anymore - it was the same old pain as before so I was used to it in a sense which allowed me to continue...and now it is all gone. Next week will be the week though - the week that will really put my back to the test and if I make it through the next few weeks I will know that I am finally back and have a chance at being a champion powar liftar...

bed is nice...

N3ur0n0saurusl2exs0r!!! · Mon Aug 29, 2005 2:12 am

bed...yeah...been there...done thizzzzazzzat...it's quite remedamtic for recovering from being highly intoxicated. Heh! I love making up words!

So nothing new on teh drunken front...although it seems that I can get inebriated by just thinking of alcohol these days.

OH so my attorney broke the world bench press record...which is quite ridiculous since he bench pressed 531.7lbs and only weighs in at 180lbs...The Seattle Times covered the event held at Alki beach but they did a horrible job and only talked about the old guys and basically the whole article was really just about exercising when you are older...whatever...never mind the fact that four world records were set on Alki beach that day...

Then it was off to Whidbey island for teh-supar-star-teh-step-sistar wedding celebratorial fun - it was quite fun although the DJ seemed to not really be human and was completely emotionless. It was a tad overwhelming though as my family has extended itself even further since the recent marriage of my dad to a woman that has a huge family and now there is another huge family that we have united with...ridiculous!...so many relatives(in-laws) I have now...but they all love me! But really how could they resist me! hehe!

ok so....

REDHOOKAZ!!! Ah yizzzeah....Sippin on da finest of teh redhoookaz in the form of some blizzzzzzzzonde ale whatever....is quite hard to focus on the screen now so without further ado I shall choose to pass out.

Billybobjobecky · Post by **Billybobjobecky** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 12:49 pm

you're a freaking alchy...

i like you.

let's be friends.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 4:22 pm

I'm up for the 1-gallon challenge with Beer!

Which type should it be? I think it should be something teh good. I don't think drinking a gallon of budlight, or coors light, or anything like that would be worth it as we might not get as drunk as expected. If we are going to drink a gallon of beer each within an hour we should choose

TEH REDHOOOOOOOOKAZZZZZZZZZ

..that way we can experience the full fledged fruits of our labor, ya read me?

Also, on a side note, I want to be a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

Post by **enderzero** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:04 am

The 1 Gallon beer challenge huh...? Well there are 128 Oz. in a gallon, or so I believe. Powerhour is 1 shot every minute for 60 minutes, so even doubl-shot powerhour is less than a gallon. That really is a challenge. But I am a successful member of teh century club 100 shots of tehbrewski in 100 minutes. Remember trying to play that years ago in your Totem apt Bos? It was teh very unsuccessful. But I was inducted lastsummer. I imagine most of the shots were a bit over an ounce - so maybe it ispossible in 100 minutes - but teh 60 minutes is teh roughX0rs.

Mr. Sparkel-moshun - you still at the Jiu-jitsu gig?

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:44 am

Mr. Sparkel-moshun - you still at the Jiu-jitsu gig?

I think he's still nursing a sore mangina.

Is a gallon of beer in an hour really that difficult? It seems it would be easier than milk...

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:44 am

It would be easier than milk. I fairly casually will drink 64 ounces of fairly potent beer (6-8%) over the course of an hour. Of course I'm a little tipsy after that, but I think twice that amount wouldn't be too difficult. I'd still have my wits about me at least. My lovely wife brings me home 64 OZ units of various Rogue brews now and then, and they are usually gone in one sitting. (unless they are the crazy 13% jobbies.

)

Bill Drayton Jr. · Post by **Bill Drayton Jr.** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:18 pm

I think with proper training and diet we can all be victorious in the 1gallon beer challeng...so I shall endevour to improve my training even further....heh

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:45 pm

I don't need to train. In fact, I think training would defeat the purpose. We want to see who can drink a gallon of beer in their naturally occurring state. I'm pretty sure I could. I think the only thing in my way would be the amount of storage space I have. (in which case, any gallon of liquid would be challenging) Alcohol-wise, I'd be fine. I don't exercise my abilities all that often, but I'm pretty sure I can drink more than anyone I know, while still being able to function at an *adequate* level.

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:47 pm

Actually, I think Agent Bos could easily keep up with me. We tend to be able to put away similar volumes of the sauce, and still wake up happy.

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:53 pm

Remember, we already did the "One full 750ml bottle of 40-45% liquor challenge" and I was a resounding success.

'twas a bottle of Vox Vodka, and a bottle of Lord Daresbury's Quintessential Gin, split between teh Rixler and teh my-s3lfZ0r. (Though I had a touch more than half.) I woke up early, cheery and happy, whilst teh rixler was unable to move, with broken head internals and light sensativity.

Bill Drayton Jr. · Post by **Bill Drayton Jr.** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 2:04 pm

Well...endar has always been at the same level as me except for the morning after which he seems to recover better than me...

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 2:13 pm

I usually have a very fast recovery. (usually by the time I wake up)

Unless I mixed different types of the sauce. Like if I have a couple of glasses of wine, and then decide I want a couple of Martinis. That never ends well. If I stick to one thing though, I never have a problem.

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 3:27 pm

If I stick to one thing though, I never have a problem.

That's the key right there.

Thanks for confirming the sissifying ease of the gallon of beer. I've been drowning in metrics for so long that I couldn't conceive how a gallon of beer would be difficult.

Anyone ever drink a yard of beer? I've never tried, but it looked interesting. I had a half yard once.

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:51 pm

SIGMA TEAM!!!!! ACK!!!! Well, at least we know what they drink now. Excellent data!

Post by **enderzero** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 12:22 am

Budweiser seems fit for those Sigma bastards!!

I think 1 gallon is tougher than you might imagine goemon. That is more than 3 Fo'ties in 1 hour.

(Edward 40-hands would need 3 hands - and then some - to drink a gallon in an hour)

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 2:54 am

pshaw! 3 fo'ties - 3 shmo'ties. No problem (as long as I'm allowed to throw up at some point during that hour).

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 8:45 am

I still don't think it would be a problem if it's over an hour.

Bill Drayton Jr. · Post by **Bill Drayton Jr.** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 1:06 pm

Yeah, I think it would really just be an issue of space... the last time I did anything close to this was 6 pints in 45 minutes and I felt like I had no room for more - it wasn't that I was too drunk it was just that I didn't have enough room to pour any more fluid down my throat. I measured the pints later and found that they were really only 14oz so that brings the total fluid to 84oz...I think I would have needed another 30 minutes to drink another 44oz...

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 1:16 pm

Drink half a gallon in 5 minutes, then wait 50 minutes and drink the other half?

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 1:31 pm

Excellent idea Agent Bos.

I think there are some other creative tricks too.

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 2:28 pm

The space issue is why I would need to throw up. Back in college, we had annual quarter keg races with about 10 - 12 guys per keg; it only took about 15 minutes to finish, but that involved much vomitous vomitry. Eventually, you had to "make room" for more beer.

Of course, that was back in the old days when you had to walk 15 miles uphill in the snow to get a keg...

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:36 pm

One could ingest huge amounts of caffeine before the challenge, allowing the liquids to escape without the use of the vomit method.

Either method requires many trips to the on site facilities.

One could pretend to be totally into the challenge, and slosh the liquids, and let them run down the chin, being soaked up by the clothing.

Tricky timing as suggested by Special Agent Bos.

Small surgical modifications could be made to vent the liquids straight from the throat into a custom made external beer storage facility.

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 8:39 pm

Is there some way that we can incorporate fake mustaches into this challenge? If so, I'm in.

Goemon · Post by **Goemon** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 9:28 pm

And wigs. There must be wigs if this competition is to have any sense of decorum and credibility.

ed9k · Post by **ed9k** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:19 am

How's about some derby hats as well?

spidermonkey · Post by **spidermonkey** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 8:44 am

And Monocles!

R3C · Post by **R3C** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 9:06 am

And pocket watches!

Post by **enderzero** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:27 pm

So as it stands - the one gallon beer challenge will take place over the course of an hour or two, vomitting allowed. Dress code includes moustaches (real or fake), periwigs, monocles, pocketwatches, and derbies. But anyone caught soaking up the beer in their moustaches or periwigs will be disqualified. A reasonable amount of spillage is acceptable - but judges will be on the lookout for tshirt soaking and other shady methods of beer disposal. All beer must enter the mouth and be swallowed before it can be legally expelled.

Sounds good so far...

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teh standard, teh drunken, teh drunken standard!

teh standard, teh drunken, teh drunken standard!