Philosophical l)runken closing...
Posted: Sat Aug 28, 2004 4:02 am
I've spat out enough non-philosophical crap...now for exposure of recent l2icks0r! thoughts....
Just before going to bed I was lying on the couch watching a very cool movie but thinking of lots of other things. I started to think about where I used to be mentally after I had returned from a recent party. I started to realize what it was that I had then that I am missing now. Utilization of certain chemicals at parties functions as a sort of mental flush – like a purge of sorts. Like in the normal everyday living type of environment my head just gets fuller and fuller of crap as time goes by. And pretty soon my whole existence is clouded by all these random thoughts of things that both do and do not matter in my life. My head just fills full of crap and I start to think about that stuff more and more instead of just relaxing and paying attention to what really matters in my life around me. It’s like some kind of forced mental preoccupation that gets in the way of just appreciating life as it is. It just builds and builds…Sleep does relinquish a lot of it but not completely. This kind of bugs me – I wish I could just blank my mind sometimes and just forget absolutely everything. The more I am alone with my thoughts the more taxing it becomes to ponder all this ridiculous noise of everyday living. It dirties my mind so much that it makes it difficult to see everything clearly and I just become a simple mechanism in the machine of life. I function so commonly – like everyone else and the days go by and I do what I am supposed to do but I just want to scream because I feel like such a sheep. I have to filter truth from fallacy for everything and that’s where the effort is I guess, dredging through all the stupid crap that hides the truth.
Just before going to bed I was lying on the couch watching a very cool movie but thinking of lots of other things. I started to think about where I used to be mentally after I had returned from a recent party. I started to realize what it was that I had then that I am missing now. Utilization of certain chemicals at parties functions as a sort of mental flush – like a purge of sorts. Like in the normal everyday living type of environment my head just gets fuller and fuller of crap as time goes by. And pretty soon my whole existence is clouded by all these random thoughts of things that both do and do not matter in my life. My head just fills full of crap and I start to think about that stuff more and more instead of just relaxing and paying attention to what really matters in my life around me. It’s like some kind of forced mental preoccupation that gets in the way of just appreciating life as it is. It just builds and builds…Sleep does relinquish a lot of it but not completely. This kind of bugs me – I wish I could just blank my mind sometimes and just forget absolutely everything. The more I am alone with my thoughts the more taxing it becomes to ponder all this ridiculous noise of everyday living. It dirties my mind so much that it makes it difficult to see everything clearly and I just become a simple mechanism in the machine of life. I function so commonly – like everyone else and the days go by and I do what I am supposed to do but I just want to scream because I feel like such a sheep. I have to filter truth from fallacy for everything and that’s where the effort is I guess, dredging through all the stupid crap that hides the truth.