Page 1 of 1

I now have Commando.

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:30 am
by Megatron
I can't express how much I enjoy this movie. Best one-liners ever!



[Guy taking out Trash]
"Hey guys, wait up! I was afraid you'd miss me"

[Cook]
"Don't worry, we won't"

*Uzi fire*

________________________________________________________

[Cook]
Ya scared muthafucka? You should be, cuz this green beret is gonna kick your big ass.
[Matrix]
I eat green berets for breakfast, and right now I'm VERY hungry!
[Cindy]
I can't believe this macho bullshit!
[Cook]
Fuck you ass hole!
[Matrix]
Fuck YOU ass hole!
[Cindy]
These guys eat too much red meat!

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 7:57 am
by Beeeph
[Matrix]
Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired.

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 12:28 am
by Megatron
[Bennet]
I'm not going to shoot you between the eyes! I'm going to shoot you between the bawls!
[Matrix]
Blow off some steam, Bennet

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:28 am
by Beeeph
After dropping a guy off a cliff
[Girl]
What happened to him?
[Matrix}
I had to let him go

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 6:30 am
by Megatron
Bennet is walking down hallway inside compound where Jenny is being held when he is stopped by a piss-ant soldier...

[Piss-Ant Soldier]
Slitting a little girl's throat is like cutting warm butter...

[Bennet}
Put away the knife, and shut your mouth.

Bennet walks toward Arius with a smirk...

[Bennet]
I love listening to your little piss-ant soldiers trying to talk tough. They make me laugh, if Matrix were here, he'd laugh too.

[Arius}
Mr. Bennet my soldiers are patriots.

Bennet interupts Arius...

[Bennet]
Your soldiers are NOTHING! Matrix and I could kill every last one of them...[Bennet snaps his fingers in front of his face] in the blink of an eye. Remember that.

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 2:21 pm
by Beeeph
Matrix is walking down to the beach and the army pulls up...

[Army General]
Did you leave anything for us?

[Matrix]
Just bodies!

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:17 pm
by spidermonkey
If you just call General Franklyn Kirby!!!!!

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:29 pm
by Beeeph
BWAH!

[Black Mall Security Guard]
Attention all units, emergency on theater level, suspect six foot two, brown hair...
he is one gigantic motherfucker! <--- to be said in the white mans voice.

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 6:02 pm
by Megatron
Cook is sitting inside a brand new Cadillac at the dealership while the salesman throws him a pitch...

[Salesman]
Go ahead! Start it up! Listen to that...thats POWER, thats PERFORMANCE!

[Cook]
You know what I like best?

[Salesman]
Whats that?

[Cook]
The price.

Cook throws the car into reverse and drives the Cadillac through front of dealership's showroom window, running over salesman leaving him bloody in the street.

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 6:44 pm
by Beeeph
[Bad Guy holding paper heart that reads "I Love you Daddy"]
If You Want Your Daughter Your Going To Have To Cooperate, RIGHT?

[Matrix]
WRONG!

!BLAST!

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 9:10 am
by Megatron
General Franklin Kirby and his army unit are inpecting the perimeter of Matrix's house when they find Jackson and Harris' bodies...

[General Franklin Kirby]
Any sign of Matrix?

[Army Guy]
No Sir. Just those bodies...ya think there's any more Sir??

[General Franklin Kirby]
If he's still alive I'd expect a lot more!

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 11:48 am
by Beeeph
[Little boy]
"Maybe it's a tumor"

[Matrix]
"Iz notta tumah"

!BLAST! Matrix delivers the little boy a shot gun blast to the face

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 1:02 pm
by R3C
:D I wish I had gotten in on this thread when there were still some good lines left. :D

Well, when someone gets Running Man, I'll chime in.

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:10 am
by Megatron
This guys website is classic...read the second page especially where he goes into the "Bennet Factor"
http://twistededge.org/death_by_cinema/Commando/

Image
Image Image Image
Image

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:37 pm
by Bill Drayton Jr.
Here's a less known one liner from Arnie that's pretty funny :grin:
I am like getting the feeling of cumming in the gym, I'm getting the feeling of cumming at home, I'm getting the feeling of cumming backstage when I pump up when I pose out in front of 5000 people I get the same feeling, so I am cumming day and night.

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 2:00 pm
by Megatron
Good ol' Arnold, loves to get his rocks off it would seem.

Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:24 pm
by Megatron

Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 10:11 pm
by Bill Drayton Jr.
w00t

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 2:44 am
by twistededge
Commando is and will always remain to be the biggest cheese-fest in the history of cinema. It's sheer crappiness knows no bounds. And yes, you should all check out the best Commando review on the internet, as suggested by Agent Bos.

That link again:
http://twistededge.org/death_by_cinema/Commando/

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:50 am
by R3C
You wouldn't be saying that if General Franklin Kirby was here. Just call General Franklin Kirby!!!!




... he'll sort it all out...

Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 4:43 am
by twistededge
"Silent and smooth as always!"

That's Kirby for you. I really would've loved to seen a Commando 2. Fuck Rambo 4, BRING BACK MATRIX!

Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 11:46 am
by Megatron
Thats awesome, TwistedEdge!

I love the website, so did you see that I had referenced your website and thats how you found Enderzero's forums?

Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:39 am
by twistededge
Yep. I can see all referring pages to my site, including search engines and such. Someone used Google to find Commando, and found this site. I followed the trail and ended up here.

It's good to see people enjoying my work. I get lots of hits, but little email traffic. Once I saw someone enjoying my Commando review enough to actually provide samples here, i joined at once.

I still consider mine to be THE definitive review. Anyone fancy Blinging Bennet like in the article?

Image

Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:20 pm
by Megatron
I see, notice the nice plug I gave your website in the original post after I found your site through Google. :) And I whole heartedly agree that your Commando review is without a doubt THE definitive Commando review.

I'll definately be picking up some chainmail in the near future.

Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:26 pm
by ed9k
Don't count on it. Mr. Lafitty up there doesn't pick up his God-damned voicemails.

Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:27 pm
by Megatron
:eek:

Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:52 pm
by ed9k
RLY