teh Forum

is dead.


It recently just came down to either him or me...and I won.

It recently just happend via my yearly east coast tour of: Virginia, DC, Maryland, NJ, PA, NY and Rehoboth Beach Deleware...that's where it happend - someone had to stop him...

R.I.P.

l)runken l2icks0r!

Where in beautiful NJ did you go, licksor?

and...

does that mean:

a.) No more drinking
b.) No more drinking (this week)
c.) No more drinking to the point of becoming teh ])runk3n l2icks0r mastar!

or..

d.) No more drinking but making use of some kind of alcohol-substitute substance...

He dies fairly frequently, but he is always revived. I think the problem stems from Drunk Fatty Rixler not using an intake monitoring application. He should really install one. I notice this problem in a great many people. I think it goes pretty much like this:

Have a drink. (This puts you in the mood to drink)
Have another drink. (Now you are slightly tipsy, and feeling nice, but could use a bit more to get "just the right feeling")
Have third drink. (Now you are feeling tip-top, but you judgement is slightly impaired.)

This is where it all goes down.

Fourth drink. (Because after all, if you're feeling this good, more is better right?)
Fifth drink. (You really aren't paying much attention now, you're probably having a lot of fun, but not thinking much.)

This is where the annoying, drunken git emerges.

Sixth drink. (You begin doing things that in your state seem very reasonable, yet for some reason people are either totally laughing at you, or are totally pissed at you.)

Seven plus. (You are no longer standing upright.)

The numbers may vary slightly from person to person, or depending on the chemical augmentations, or the type of alcohol being consumed. Now, for those able to monitor this whole process internally, taking a pause around the second or third drink for a while is the key to enjoying more alcohol. Pause for an hour or so, and just enjoy yourself. When it starts to subside a bit, it's either a safe point to stop without getting the "too little alcohol insta-hangover" or to have another drink or two, without proceeding to undesirable levels.

A wee nip of the cola is handy (though if you go too far this direction, you are going to lose the social skills, and start getting jittery.)

Luckily I have fairly good monitoring software. Every once in a while I'll overwhelm it slightly, but it is usually pretty robust. I suggest you install some.

I just picked up a bottle of Ten for making delicious Martinis. Now, who's going to join me?

Oh, there's one more oft-observed behavior. Latent DrunX0ry is what we'll call it.

This is where someone who routinely pushes the boundaries of their intake knows nothing more than the line, and the other side of the line.

This sort of person, will have a few drinks, and not even notice the pleasant buzz, the enhanced conversational skills, the warm feeling, the slight yet nice tipsification. Their perception is so screwed from all the boudary-pushing that such subtle effects are completely lost on them.

They think "I'm drinking, but it's not doing anything to me" because in comparison to what they are used to, it isn't doing anything. By the time they get enough alcohol in them to notice, they are seconds away from being stupid-drunk, passed out, or puking their guts out. It's not that they weren't already drinky, it's just that they didn't notice it until it was too late.

For such a person, UltraMonitor v5.2 is required. They have to have a couple drinks, and then wait a huge amount of time, until they realize "hey I'm tipsy, I feel nice, and I didn't drink an entire bottle of alcohol."

This is probably the worst scenario, because the person doesn't intend to get that way, they are just not patient enough, and not able to notice the more pleasant and subtle effects. (Which were most likely the things that made them like alcohol in the first place.)

And there are your special cases like Agent Bos and I (well not anymore for me, but when I was Agent Bos' age.) These people can drink a whole bottle of Vodka or Gin and then some, be completely aware and alert, and wake up the next morning feeling tip-top while everyone else is complaining and wearing sunglasses. I can't really pull that off anymore, but I used to plow through a bottle of Vox without any ill effects. Some people try to emulate this genetic ability, and fail with massive amounts of fluid and solid matter ejecting from their mouths. Or the ol' head in a vice syndrome. Agent Bos has the uncanny ability to mix types of alcohol. I always had to stick with the same type. Hard/Beer/Wine but no combos. These are interesting cases, and not the norm. (It also tends to fade either with age, or amount of things ingested over the years, or something like that.)

Drunken Rixler is a combination of the first two types, being in the latter levels of the first type, but leaning heavily toward the second type. I'm telling you, the two of you could peacefully coexist if handled properly.

Yeah, while at the Rehoboth beach house, I set up a preemptive intake monitoring system with my friend Jamie and it worked great until he left to go walk on the beach and then I guess I passed out standing up somehow and the evening was over with a nice loud crash - I woke up the next day with a memory of drinking three glasses of wine... I drank hard for 7 days straight - I reached new highs in terms of lows...heh...

Ouch.

Saturday is probably good for consuming those delicious martinis.
Or:
All set for Ike and Joe...


Here you are corporal

I have reason to believe that this will be an exceptional bout.

just to say goodbye...off of 8 beers and a shot of wild turkey...

I'm not in my usual mood though...although it is a bit difficult to focus on the screen...just answered a crazy email to some recent long distance "like" interest...I wish I had a local love interest but no...

Anyway...I have made the exception to termporarily debauch myself on Rylands behalf during his short visitation...Although this will be the last of complete dissipation for l)runken l2icks0r!... it's getting too far out of hand anymore...I'm doing something that I thought that I would never do in terms of regret for what I have done but I can't discern any meritorious behavior from my recent activity thus it's purposefulness is entirely questionable...at least by me anyway...ok so time for sleeps...goodbye!