teh Forum

I thought you all would be very happy to read such a touching story that is so obviously true. A friend of mine was kind enough to pass it on to me and it really warmed my heart. In fact, if I got email like this every day the world would be a magical happy place without wars or hunger or evil scientists. Remember, everything you see in an email has to be true because it is in an email.

Gather round cause uncle enderzero's gonna read y'all a story.


>The Brick
>
>Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
>
>If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
>
>Pass this message to seven people
>
>except you and me.
>
>You will receive a miracle tomorrow ( just do it)!
>
>THE BRICK
>
>A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street,
>
>going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.
>
>He was watching for kids darting out
>
>from between parked cars
>
>and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
>
>As his car passed, no children appeared.
>
>Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
>
>He slammed on the brakes
>
>and backed the Jag back to the spot where
>
>the brick had been thrown.
>
>The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and
>
>pushed him up against a parked car shouting,
>
>"What was that all about and who are you?
>
>Just what the heck are you doing?
>
>That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money.
>Why did you do it?"
>
>The young boy was apologetic.
>
>"Please, mister...please,
>
>I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,"
>
>He pleaded.
>
>"I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping
>down his face
>
>and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.
>
>"It's my brother," he said.
>
>"He rolled off the curb and fell out of his
>
>wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
>
>Now sobbing, the boy asked the
>
>stunned executive,
>
>"Would you please help me get him back into his
>
>wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
>
>Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump
>in
>his throat.
>
>He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into
>
>the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh
>scrapes and cuts.
>
>A quick look told him everything
>
>was going to be okay.
>
>"Thank you and may God bless you,"
>
>the grateful child told the stranger.
>
>Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his
>wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home
>
>It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.
>
>The damage was very noticeable,
>
>but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the
>dent there to remind him of this message
>
>"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to
>get your attention!"
>
>God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't
>have time to listen,
>
>He has to throw a brick at us.
>
>It's our choice to listen or not.
>
>Thought for the Day:
>
>If God had a refrigerator,
>
>your picture would be on it.
>
>If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
>
>He sends you flowers every spring.
>
>He sends you a sunrise every morning.
>
>Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
>
>Send this to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless, . God didn't
>promise days without
>
>pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise
>strength
>for the day,
>
>comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

...

Besides that, the kid in the wheelchair wasn't even crippled. The whole thing was a scam to throw bricks and not get in trouble.

And do you know who told them that plan?

Jesus did.

He and his dad (well, I suppose Jesus is the boy with two daddies, so the more powerful daddy,) stayed up all night thinking up a good prank. They called up Loki, Set, and a few of their other more mischievous buddies, and asked them what they thought. They laughed, so Jesus told the children what to do.

And oh did it ever work. The stupid man in the Jaguar has now been chalked up on the divine idiot board.

Or something like that. [TEE HEE HEE]

... the reason the man did not repair the dent, is because he was already living beyond his means. He could not afford to remove the expensive dent from his car, so not only was his name engraved in the divine idiot board, but he also spent the rest of his life looking for the children who destroyed his synthetic youth. After eventually coming to his senses, he decided he liked pushing them up against the car far better than being tricked into letting them off. He was a lonely idiot from that moment on. His family tried to talk him out of his futile pursuit, but he clung tenaciously to the anger, smouldering inside him, like the red hot coals of an ancient brazier. Then, one cold december morning, he died. When Jesus told him what the whole ordeal was about, they had a good laugh.

god threw a brick at me once....
I pushed him against a parked car and said, "what the heck are you doing?"
But then he showed me that he had my picture in his wallet and said he had another on his fridge. He also told me he was the one who kept sending me flowers. He also claimed that he made the sunrise for me.
I realized then that he was crazy about me.
I had to get a restraining order to keep god at least 500 feet away at all times, but I never went to a hospital after having that brick hit me in the head because it reminds me of an important message.
I can't think what the message is right now...
My head hurts.

Hey wait with your goddamn smartass comments wouldya! I'm still very slowly reading the first line. In two days I've got through "If God". Don't spoil it for me!

Is this kid in the wheelchair at all related to the boy who had a bag of leaves for a body? Crikey, I miss that little bag-body boy!

... lies do make the baby Jesus cry. And iron helps us play!!!

Fuck Jesus!!! blah blah blah divine idiot blah blah... Dairy Queen Brazier blah blah...

I'm going to make up a new game called "Divine Idiot Ball." The game will come in a box filled with inflatable baby Jesi ( that's pronounced JEEZ-EYE... you know like as in multiple Jesuses?)

Anyway...you inflate all these baby Jesi and then just throw them all over the place on the ground and run around and kick them...

See then you can kick the baby Jesi in front of the Jag and curse the driver for killing a baby Jesi or three - that'll make him feel guilty.... It's a matter of symbolism see? Get it? It's a joke...ya...this is not blasphemer...fuck Jesus!!!

Jesus McFuck! (tm)