I love Michael Moore

[ed9k]

And will be seeing his movie this very weekend!

Just though I'd share some funny (but true) things:

> > > >Things you have to believe to be a Republican:
> > > >
> > > >1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless
> > > >you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need
> > > >our prayers for your recovery.
> > > >
> > > >2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our
> > > >highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against
> > > >Iraq.
> > > >
> > > >3. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving
> > > >their jobs to India.
> > > >
> > > >4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
> > > >multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
> > > >mankind without regulation.
> > > >
> > > >5. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
> > > >Hillary Clinton.
> > > >
> > > >6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops
> > > >in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
> > > >
> > > >7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday
> > > >run for governor of California as a Republican.
> > > >
> > > >8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
> > > >
> > > >9. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
> > > >allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
> > > >
> > > >10. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at
> > > >heart.
> > > >
> > > >11. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
> > > >health care to all Americans is socialism.
> > > >
> > > >12. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science,
> > > >but creationism should be taught in schools.
> > > >
> > > >13. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
> > > >Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business
> > > >with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin
> > > >Laden" diversion.
> > > >
> > > >14. A president lying about an extramarital affair which had
> > > >absolutely nothing to do with the Presidency is an impeachable
> > > >offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which
> > > >thousands die is solid defense policy.
> > > >
> > > >15. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
> > > >Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
> > > >Internet.
> > > >
> > > >16. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades,
> > > >but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
> > > >
> > > >17. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John
> > > >Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a
> > > >right to adopt.
> > > >
> > > >18. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but
> > > >trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international
> > > >harmony.

===============================================

George W. Bush
RESUME:
- I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol.
- I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.
- My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY:
- I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
- I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
- By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:
- I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
- I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
- I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
- I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975.
- I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.
- The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
- I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
- During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog ridden city in America.
- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money
- With the help of my father and our rightwing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was
- I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
- I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12month period.
- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12month period
- I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
- In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
- I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
- My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
- I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President.
- I am the all-time U.S. and world record holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
- My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
- My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
- I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip offs in history.
- I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
- I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
- I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
- I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
- I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
- I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
- I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
- I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
- I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
- I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.
- After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
- I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
- I have set the all time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
- I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in war time.
- In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
- I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
- I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
- I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
- All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
- All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

===============================================

President Bush, the First Lady, Dick Cheney and Colin Powell are flying
on Air Force One. George looks at Dick, chuckles and says, "You know, I
could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person
very happy."

Dick curls his lip and sneers, "Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out
the window and make ten people very happy."

Laura tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then
I could throw one-hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred
people very happy."

Colin rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all
of you out the window and make the whole country very happy."

[Bill Drayton Jr.]

a lot by failing!

[ed9k]

I never thought about it that way....

In that case, it sounds really really familiar......

[ed9k]

and close to home.....

I've heard that mistakes aren't mistakes if you learn from them-I've made a whole lot myself, and I'm learning slowly.....