I'm not really that drunk though - which is sort of amazing considering I have had:
5 drinks0rs
3 hydrocodone
2 unisom
What a dissafricken dissapointment...not too drunks0r...the profanity is just not flowin yet...I should be totally on the f-bomb droppin spree yo...but no...
So what to tizzalk abizzout...dunno...
OH I KNOW!!!
Not that I really wanted to be but, FUCK! Do to some not-so-immediate yet somewhat recent company I was shown the Seattle Models Guild website...
I cannot be a fricken model...damnit! You have to fucking be at least 6 feet tall! WTF? So Just for fun I measured my height and discovered that I am an inch shorter than the last time I checked! What the fuck!!!! I used to be 5'10.5' but now I am 5'9.5" so no fricken modeling career for me... oh do feel sorry for me please!
What's totally fucked up is my waist is 35" and they have models that are like 6'2" with 30" waists although most models have 32" waists... ok I guess that's not that big of a deal...or is it?
I must be a fat bastard still!!!! god damn it!!!!
I thought I knew what I was doing with this whole wieght loss/exercise thing too but no...I'm not special...I'm just another overweight American according to the BMI calculators...I have a BMI of 25 which is considered overweight...I should be at 21.7 in order to be in the middle of what is considered "normal" that goes from 18.7 - 24.9
How the fuck do they come up with this shite anyway??? It must realy suck to be a model... not that I really wanted to become one but there is a girl I know who wanted to...hence why I visited the site...Oh and I don't have the square fricken jaw and my ears are probably too big...wooo!!!!
Are all men created equal? I don't think so...I think that's a bunch of bull-shite! I think men are NOT created equal... Religion is such righteous bull-shite I tell you! God damn, yes that's right BLASPHEMY!!!, fucking religious crap!!! Isn't vanity a fucking sin anyway??? Could Jesus be a model?? how fucking tall was that bastard anyway?!?!? I mean he really was a bastard now wasn't he...Oh yeah...sure...his mom was REALLY a virgin...uh huh...I beleive that!!!! She was probably a total slut...she probably got drunk and passed out and was impregnated by who knows who...and then she maybe had a "vision" or something probably from some mushrooms or peote or what not and imagined the whole fucking "immaculate conception" thing... What the hell happened to her after Jesus was born...I don't remember? When the fuck did she die? How did she die? Did she have another kid later or what? What did she like to do with her spare time anyway...did she have any sisters? Did she raise any cattle or chickens? Was she a meat eater or a fricken vegetarian? What was her blood type? It was problaby O+ i am thinking...
What the fuck is up with old Joseph Smith anyway... Why did he have to wear fricken goggles to read that fricken text that some fricken angel gave him in order to start the mormon religion... Mormonism is only just over 100 years old and you can't fricken drink if you are one???? what the hell...I bet good ole Joe got fricken waisted all the time...
Ok, so I'm pissed off now - time to sleep...
Male Model Ricksor!?!?!?! bwahahahaha!! I can imagine flipping through the pages of CosmoGirl and seeing a pic of ol 12icks0r laughing at a party in some Tommy ad. BWAHAAHAAHAA!!!
